Going from ‘haha’ to heartbreak in a matter of 20 seconds must be some type of record. Well, that’s the strange, algorithmic power of Tiktok.
If you’re on Tiktok, you’re well aware that once you like 1 post, your whole feed is flooded with whatever content was in that post you liked. Like…a tsunami of content is headed your way.
My tsunami comes in the form of those poetry slideshows that contain excerpts, quotes and images that hit you in the face with nostalgia, reminiscence, heartbreak, remorse, melancholy, hope, and comfort. Yeah, it’s a lot. But I don’t hate them at all. They’re an oddly nice way of fully indulging in a feeling; they make me more appreciative of the present and past memories of the people and places I’ve known.
What was my goal this week?
What can I say, I’m a very sentimental and nostalgic person, and these slideshows bring that side out of me to another level. So much so, that my goal this week became to start journaling, something I’ve actually been meaning to do since these slideshows first popped into my feed at 2am. I’ve saved countless slideshows on my phone and half my camera roll is filled with screenshots, but I’ve always been a fan for a tangible things. I enjoy having the physical notebook, using a pen rather than a keyboard, and having tangible evidence of something I created. I wanted to maintain the habit of writing for pleasure.
My goal for this journal was to write down whatever thoughts, excerpts, and quotes I enjoy reading and wish to remember down the road as a reflection of what I’m like at different stages in life. Anything goes!
How did it go?
A lot more enjoyable than I thought. It was fulfilling going back and finding my old screenshots and writing down quotes from those slideshows – thoughts and feelings that I wanted to remember. Of course it’s not all just quotes, my own thoughts are sprinkled in there as well as reminders of what I’m feeling.
It didn’t come to me as a surprise, but I did feel guilty doing this. While I only spent a few hours doing this and it wasn’t a daily occurrence, part of me felt bad because I had a lot of work and assignments to do that week and I should be using this spare time to catchup. And while this journaling technically went towards an assignment later in the week, it felt…odd. Because it was time for myself that wasn’t direct productiveness. I’m happy that I did it, but I definitely feel like I will enjoy it more once I’ve accepted a new habit into my life.
How did I do it?
Went to Muji, bought an aesthetically satisfying notebook, and treated myself to a fresh pen. I know I could’ve used an old notebook at home, but ideally I would like this journal to last me a long time. And having something that makes me excited to write in makes the experience all that more enjoyable. It’s the little things in life.
Honestly, I just started off by writing down my favourite poetry excerpts and quotes for 1 hour. I wanted to dedicate time to this, and only this. Then as I kept writing, I kept finding more quotes, and more thoughts, and more quotes: there was no consistent theme or feeling which I think made it all that more enjoyable. I was writing for myself and not worried about what an audience would think.
I was inspired by this post I saw on Tiktok about a user wanting to integrate the habit of journaling into his morning routine. The way he presents his work is with tiny writing in different colours on these massive pages. He mentions how seeing what you’ve created makes you excited to keep going, which is why working on a computer is difficult for him. I couldn’t agree more.
How do I feel?
Pleased. Satisfied. And nostalgic for…I’m not sure what. Those slideshows contain a range of emotions, but writing them down felt enjoyable nonetheless. Writing down my thoughts for myself and not for show was also gratifying because it made me feel present with myself; I wasn’t worried about what others would think or what I had to do later in the week. Also, writing with a pen and paper again was just simply satisfying. Kind of odd to say, but I missed it.
Next week’s goal
Those poetry slideshows always make me nostalgic for good company. I’ve had the privilege of meeting lovely people and having equally great friendships, but schedules conflict and I don’t see them as often as I’d like to. Next week, I’d like to cherish some simple activities with a friend; watching a movie, cooking together, going on a hike, or whatever floats our boat. And yes, my journaling shall hopefully continue as well (hold me accountable, dear readers).
Song the Week