A Disappointing Frog and Some Dusty Film

A tangled mess of green yarn: the intended limbs of a crochet frog that was never completed.

While the intentions are there, I can admit that I’m terrible at finishing a project.

No, not school projects. I always finish those. I’m talking about my dismembered frog crochet that I started about a year and a half ago and has sat in my desk ever since. Or how I started building miniature house models during COVID (which are actually really fun and cool to make), but to this day haven’t touched it or given myself the time to do it. Or how I got an orchid Lego set for my birthday which I have the perfect spot for, but haven’t brought myself to bring out of the box. Heck, my biggest hobby was film photography for years, but all my film and cameras are currently sitting and collecting dust.

I have spools of yarn, rolls of film, and records to play (on an incomplete setup..no surprises there). But how on earth does time go by so quickly and I feel like I haven’t done anything new? How have I not had time to stick some legos together? I don’t believe for a second that I haven’t had a single hour of free time in the last 5 months.

So what is it? Why do I put these things off? I’ve been meaning to do them, I look forward to them, and I miss them! I do! Subconsciously do I not care? Is my free time taken away by TikTok on my phone? Am I just exhausted and choose to sleep instead? Do I think I’m better off spending my time doing something useful and productive around the house?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I think it’s a combination of all these things. My priorities, questionably, change every week. As I get older, I’m blown away by how fast time flies. The weeks feel like a blur, the months pass in a blink of an eye. How much more time am I gonna let pass by without having touched or done a single things I’ve been meaning to simply enjoy? Feels a little dooming.

I genuinely believe that a key to an enjoyable life is to always have something to look forward to. No matter what it is. Maybe I finally get to watch Family Guy on Saturday, or I have a concert in 7 months that I can’t stop fan-girling about. My goal for the next coming months is to look forward to an activity that I keep. Putting. Off. For Months. And I want to reach the point where I don’t feel guilty about allowing myself the time do it. To do “nothing” special; to simply enjoy.

I have to admit, this whole thing was inspired by my favourite quote: “il dolce far niente.” It translates to: “the sweetness of doing nothing.”

While it doesn’t mean to quite literally do nothing, it’s an Italian philosophy that tries to emphasize that there’s a beauty in slowing down; in simply existing and enjoying the finer, simpler things in life. I want to discover, indulge, and appreciate my own moments of “nothing.”

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